Bluebird Girl

Today I looked at Ayla and thought: She is a girl.

For the past two years I have told people that I have two toddlers.

But I don't, anymore, do I? I have one toddler and one girl-child who will turn five this year.

Thank God for her October birthday. The prospect of kindergarten in the fall would be too much to face.

We were sitting next to each other in the booth at McDonalds. There was a word-puzzle on the happy meal bag and we were working on it together. And she looked at me. She had braids in her hair and two clips. One was yellow. One was red with sparkly stars.

Don't expect me to explain what it is about the sparkly-star red hairclip that did it. But it is what did it. I looked at that clip and thought: Look at my beautiful green-eyed girl. My funny, smiling little bird. Last night she climbed in bed with me and snuggled so close it was as if she was trying to become a part of me.

Something deep in the breast or the gut. That's where Ayla is.

My girl.