In My Mind I'm Going To Carolina and Also Yes In Real Life

Yesterday when two different people asked me, "So are you moving across the country or what?" I remembered how I've never really had a head for details.

(One of them was my mother).

So here it is. Mr. V came home and said unto me that it was official: they'd offered him a position in Brevard, he'd accepted it, and then instead of signing dotted lines they'd all drunk a pilsner on it because that is the kind of establishment we run, here.

Awesome! said I. Let's start packing for Carolina! but Mr. V said, No, you fool! They have no use for me in dixie until October and I'm sure you haven't forgotten how our lease here is up in three weeks. We have no where to go!

That was when I was like, oh look, how lovely. Some thoughtful person has placed this washing machine here so that I might lean on it while I cry. And Mr. V was like, that is not the direction I was hoping you would take this.

(Note to self: buy cheap champagne.)

The short of it is, we have a lot to do between now and June 30th at noon, when our landlord insists we must leave this house or be doomed forever. (Thanks for working with a family with two young children who are moving across the country, here! I totally understand how giving us one extra month would have literally killed you or made your legs turn into scissors and snakes grow out your nostrils, so no biggie!) Nobody get the impression that I'm freaking out, because I'm not freaking out at all. I just happen to like sleeping in my bathtub with a tube running directly from a box of wine to my mouth and the door taped shut and episode 5.4 of Supernatural, "The End", playing on a constant loop. Also I no longer have eyebrows but that is just how I choose to live!

Side note: When she was in college, my mom and her roommates had a really evil landlord and when they moved out, they left a dead fish tucked inside the walls, where it would slowly rot and he wouldn't be able to find the source of the stench. I WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

I'm excited. I'm really excited, and really happy, and I really don't know what we're going to do.

I wasn't joking about the champagne.

I'm unable to form too many complete sentences at once today, so I'm just going to leave you with some pictures of Brevard and Asheville my love, and call it a day.

xoxo
-V

First view of Brevard.

They have chocolate there, so I may survive our first winter.

Remember how I kept saying, "White Squirrel

Music Fest", and you were all like, well shit! I 

didn't know squirrels could play guitar! And I was like,

they don't, you idiots. They play the hurdy gurdy.

This keytar-playing squirrel was a real bastard, I could

just tell. Sometimes you can just tell.

Remember how I saw Joaquin Phoenix at the Square Root?

That's "him". He was on the phone with his agent and kept

yelling, "I told you not to make us follow the

squirrels. How the hell are we supposed to

beat that?"

Leaving Brevard to drive to the Atlanta airport, we came around

a corner and found this fellow. So there you have it.

Button your boots, Brevard.